Lee Daniels, Oprah and their very entertaining movie (The Butler) are having quite a moment.
It always amazes me that the very large and in many ways predictable white power structure makes a decision to “anoint” certain people authorities and makes the decision to silence others.
As a result of Mr. Daniels and Ms. Winfrey’s second pairing and obvious grab for the Oscar, it seemed a great time to allow Daniels to not only publicly “come out” but also to spew his brilliance regarding why a “majority” of black gay/bi men stay in the closet.
While I am thrilled that he has publicly acknowledged his sexuality which can only enhance and embolden his work, this business about not “coming out” and allowing himself to be “silenced” so that he could work is troubling and weak.
Many times I have been offered the chance to play the game: Switch pronouns, refer to folks as buddies, gain advice on how to handle love and a lack of communication between myself and the man I was currently dating.
All of the game playing was created by denying who I was and the real nature of my complicated and highly annoying “relationships” with other men.
After growing a pair and hitting my mid 20’s, I knew it was time for something else and some very different ways of being.
I started doing my homework and looking for some models of unadulterated courage.
I found one who kicked me in the gut and gave me permission to be my full and present self.
James Baldwin has inspired me for more than twenty years.
Mr. Baldwin was speaking to the “establishment” and creating from a place of honesty and fearlessness fifty years ago. He wrote of gay love, longing and anguish while simultaneously combining it with the “black struggle”. Nobody (the black intelligentsia, the government or other artists) could silence him.
When I hear Mr. Daniels describe the struggle of wanting to work, I hear the need to belong.
I hear the need for acceptance and permission to create that only comes, or so we are told, if we don’t allow ourselves to be placed in certain boxes.
When I was closeted, I couldn’t create shit.
All of my genius and talent was devoted to keeping up a facade.
There was no time or need to develop elaborate, layered characters (via my acting and writing) when my existence was one crowd-pleasing performance after another.
Once I ingested Baldwin’s brilliance and boldness and made it my own, amazing things began to happen.