Tag Archives: TED Talk
Burn the Manual Presents: Designing New Systems for Better Results
For the last year, I have developed a healthy and in some cases obsessive focus on systems- how they work; how they get created; who determines if it is time for an update. Everything is systems based and success and failure is highly determined by an individuals level of self discipline within the system of… Read More »
Three Secrets to a Successful Relationship Part 3 (Learning)
Yesterday, my man beat me…Again. In Scrabble. The final portion of creating a successful relationship is the ability to learn from each other daily. Many couples meet and silently agree that neither will change no matter the amount of time spent together or the circumstances that would invite and encourage change. If you want the… Read More »
Five Dumb Sex Beliefs that Keep Gay Men from Finding True Love
Celibacy is Unrealistic Gay men are taught that everything must be handled sexually. Celibacy is a wonderful way for gay men to handle emotional needs without sexual activity. We are not encouraged to seek counsel to deal with our problems in ways that require silence, contemplation or self- reflection. We are supported in using one… Read More »
Can We Trust Our Friends to Support Our Personal Growth
During our lives, we will meet several people. Some of these folks we will know a lifetime. Some folks will be around for a good time and then dash when the first sign of trouble presents itself. I have had several acquaintances and very few true friends. True friends can save your life or at… Read More »
When Families Attack: How Gays Survive the Ignorance and Rejection of Their Families
When I announced my pending marriage more than four months ago , my family was very vocal with their disapproval. Some of the bullshit I heard was just mesmerizing. “You don’t know him that well”. “Nobody in our family has met him and You are making a big mistake are a few of the brilliant… Read More »
Another gay male secret: I’m so disappointed
When I attempted to reconcile a doomed relationship for the third time in five years, my heart was broken and my mind was fried. I already knew the answer to the question “can this relationship be saved ?” No. It can’t. As black gay men, we get inducted into a lifetime of disappointment at a… Read More »
Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight (A review)
3 Secrets to Better Monogamous Sex
Why We Confuse Love with Care
Every time someone that I deeply care for says, “I love you”, I get frightened. It makes little sense to get shook up regarding this most basic of human needs and the thing myself and we all want the most. And yet, when it is stated it becomes a thing of suspicion. My personal experience… Read More »